A chain reaction

I've written effusively before about a book I recently read on resolving the heart of conflict called "The Anatomy of Peace" by the Arbinger Institute (yes, odd for a book to be written by an institute, but whoever wrote it, it's brilliant). I was contacted a few days ago by their Director of Community Relations and pointed to their website, which offers free articles, more information about their work and courses (both in-person and online), and a free forum.

Their mission:

How do you help someone see what they don't want to see? That's the central challenge thatThe Arbinger Institute's work is designed to overcome.

Our materials introduce people to a little-known, but pervasive, problem: self-deception. Our methodologies help people overcome it.

We define self-deception as not knowing - and resisting the possibility - that one has a problem.

Most conflicts are perpetuated by self-deception. So are most failures in communication. And most breakdowns in trust and accountability.

Clearly, as long as the problem of not knowing one has a problem remains ... so will all other problems.

Like many people today, I've got Memorial Day plans, but I wanted to highlight a very cool article on The Parenting Pyramid. Some interesting chain reactions that are highlighted:

  • As parents and step-parents, we are often mainly focused on correcting behavior
  • We can't really "correct" well, if we also haven't been teaching all along (power struggle, anyone?)
  • We can't really teach if the parent or step-parent/child relationship is weak and suffering from a lack of closeness or involvement
  • The husband/wife relationship spills over into the relationship that adults have with the children, as much as we'd like to insist it doesn't. (This gets even more complicated when you factor in relationships between exes -- and parenting issues between dads and stepmoms, and between moms and stepmoms!)
  • Marital relationships and relationships between exes are hugely influenced by your way of being - and whether you have a "heart of war" or a "heart of peace."

Check it out!

And an enormous thank you to everyone who has bravely served our country....