Announcements

Carol and David lost their home - a fundraiser

Carol Marine

Carol Marine

Hi everyone, Carol and David Marine of Daily Paintworks and their 6 yr. old son Jacob lost their home in a terrifying fire yesterday out near Bastrop. Their entire subdivision was wiped out (up to 300 homes) and the fire is still spreading - it's currently 16 miles long, 6 miles wide, has covered over 35,000 acres and is moving south towards another town. Today's forecast of more high winds is bad news for surrounding areas.

[UPDATE: A neighbor confirmed late Monday afternoon that nothing of their home survived. It's just dirt and ashes. Over 1,300 homes have burned and the fire is only 30% contained as of Thursday, Sept. 8. Please see the end of this post for an update on the astounding outpouring of support from the online community -- and artists in particular.]

They lived in a cute, little house in the middle of a beautiful pine forest, which is kind of an aberration in Texas. Rolling hills, tall towering trees, orange pine needles everywhere on the ground. All of which made for a lot of tinder, due to an extreme drought and the highest temperatures ever recorded in the state for August.

bastrophouse
bastrophouse

Here's an older picture of their house right after they bought it, before they added on a woodshop and studio for Carol. Jacob is a bit bigger now:

My 16 yr. old daughter Maddie and I were visiting them, along with two of Carol's friends, Karen and Randi. We were sitting around their big table, swimming in beading supplies, laughing, talking--when a neighbor came over and told us we had to leave right away.

At first, Karen and I went out to the backyard to see and were making jokes about how David had paid off a neighbor to say that, just to get all these crazy women out of his house. We couldn't see anything over the tall trees. Then Randi went out front and we heard her saying, "Oh my god. Oh my god!"

davidworking
davidworking

When we stood in the front street, we could see huge clouds of billowing smoke. There wasn't even enough time for them to take more than their computers. I backed my car through their front yard and up to Carol's studio, but we didn't take anything more than a few small paintings of Carol's. They lost all her art that filled their house.

Carol took their small car and David hooked up their pick-up to their camper, so luckily they have that. They're currently in a campground and will have to decide where to go from here....

When we finally left, the smoke had changed to black and was much bigger. It was incredibly frightening. Here's a video that someone shot on YouTube:

http://youtu.be/wELdKgk80e8

They had good insurance, but it will take time for that to all kick in, so I'd like to help them in the meantime.

Please consider making a donation below to help them get back on their feet.

 (The fundraiser is officially over and the Donate button has been removed. Please see the update below for the total raised.)

It's true, the most important thing is that they're safe. They are my family and I love them all dearly. But my heart aches for everything they lost - all the mementos, all the memories, their sense of sanctuary.

Thanks for your help. And please say prayers for everyone that lost their house, dear pets, or is still in harm's way.

With love,

Jennifer

[As of mid-day on Friday, Sept. 9th, only five days after the fire, over 300 kind and generous people have donated almost $18,000 to help Carol and David. That's right: almost EIGHTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! You have no idea what this means to them, folks. No idea. They have been moved beyond words and have cried about this more than once -- in a good way. :-)

As of Sept. 20th, the fundraiser was closed, with over $21,000 raised!

Carol and David say thank you, thank you, thank you a million times over for this wonderful expression of love and support from fellow artists and fans of our book.

To see all these incoming links from art blogs far and wide, to see the names of so many studios and even other daily painting sites online, honestly, it's blown their minds. It's really something to be proud of. Y'all are part of something really special.... 

You've all helped turn a gut-wrenching experience for Carol and David into something affirming, amazing and beautiful.... They can never thank you enough and they will never forget this!] 

A Challenge: Just Meet Her!

(Audrey S. [mom] and Gina W. [stepmom] on Mother's Day with their children.)

(Audrey S. [mom] and Gina W. [stepmom] on Mother's Day with their children.)

"The problem of the world is that we draw the circle of our family too small."
     -Mother Theresa

Our old grievances can change in an instant when we simply open to the other... and listen.

WHAT IF... the divorced mom or stepmom is just as baffled by you—as you are by her?

WHAT IF... you have more in common than you realize?

WHAT IF... her actions towards you are nowhere near as deliberate as you assume them to be—or vice-versa?

WHAT IF... you could erase years of accumulated tension and resentment with her in one short moment?

WHAT IF... she’s open to forming a connection with you—and that evokes the same in you?

Curious?

Perfect!

Because we invite you to meet the stepmom or ex-wife in your life this month during our “Just Meet Her!” challenge.

The purpose?

To see each other as human. That’s it. That’s your only goal. No hashing out of issues. No point-scoring. No validating past wounds.

Just meeting her, face-to-face, for coffee or tea.

If you've already had a few pleasant, respectful communications with her (by email, phone or in person), then this challenge is for you!

If you are in an actively high-conflict situation, then meet with another person who shares her role as a mom or stepmom.

Our challenge was inspired by Elizabeth Lesser’s beautiful and thought-provoking TED video “Take the Other to Lunch,” where she meets with someone who is seemingly her political opposite, only to discover that they both feel judged and misunderstood, and yet are still capable of building trust between them.

(video timeline notes)

  • Early background about her two conflicting selves: 0:01-1:54
  • What we miss by thinking we know it all: 1:54
  • How we so easily "demonize" each other: 4:35
  • Describing the initiative:  5:46
  • Her lunch and the guidelines she used:  7:06
  • Insights about her lunch:  8:25
  • Who should YOU take to lunch? What can you expect? 10:00-11:00

One of the fastest, most powerful ways to change this relationship is also one of the scariest.

Suddenly, you are two fallible, vulnerable people.

Both winging it.

Both at times hurt and confused by how difficult these roles are...

As Lesser said, it's "--two people, dropping their weapons... dropping the pretense of being know-it-alls..."

Surely you can bring yourself to, as Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project suggests, deliberately suffer for 15 minutes for the good of humanity.

Or in this case, thirty.

What might your first steps be?

Here are the guidelines.

If you’re meeting with YOUR other, ask each other:

  • Describe a silly phobia you have.
  • Tell me about a happy childhood memory.
  • What's a favorite movie, song, book or TV show?

If you’re meeting with AN other, ask each other:

  • What have you always wanted to ask someone from the other side?
  • What are some of the biggest fears stepmoms or moms have?
  • What are some of the biggest hopes of moms or stepmoms?

General Guidelines:

  • meet for a min. of 30 minutes
  • meet in a neutral location, such as a coffee shop or park
  • don’t persuade, defend or interrupt
  • avoid volatile topics, such as family, conflict-loaded situations, etc.
  • be curious, be conversational and be real... listen
  • meet for a maximum of 45 minutes and then end it, even if it’s going well

Communicate with us and your friends here on NOTB (or on Facebook):

Let us know your plan to meet and when.

Let us know how your meeting went!

If you are worried or nervous before your meeting, come to us for support. And then come to us after too, to decompress and process your experience.

We know our readers are some of the bravest, ballsiest women out there.

So show us what you got!

We’ll all be cheering you on....

And we just might start a revolution that snowballs into something really big!

Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there...

- Rumi

© 2011 Jennifer Newcomb Marine    All Rights Reserved

Oprah to announce National Stepmother’s Day!

Photo credit: Harpo Studios

Photo credit: Harpo Studios

I just got a call from an Oprah producer at Harpo Studios, Heather M.! I had spoken to her right before our book came out last year, so it took me a moment to place her name on caller ID. But once I did, OH MY GOD, you could have knocked me off my chair with a pinky finger—or perhaps handed me an adult diaper, because I was going to need it!

As everyone knows, getting on the Oprah show is like the Holy Grail for authors, plus, this is her last season. I felt like I was either sleepwalking, hyperventilating, or both. This just couldn’t be happening!

But no....

It was.

So I tried to gather my wits about me and not sound like a babbling idiot on the phone. Deep breaths helped. A lot.

Not only does Heather M. want us on the show, which is totally amazing and awesome and mind-blowing in and of itself—but even better—Carol and I get to play a small part in a big announcement for a cause that’s near and dear to our hearts: improving mom and stepmom relationships while creating happier dual-families.

Here’s the deal.

Oprah’s staff is working on a show tied to Mother’s Day (happens here in the U.S. on May 9th) where they will be announcing the official proclamation of Stepmother’s Day!

What’s so cool about this is that I, as a mom, get to publicly acknowledge the important and vital role that stepmoms play in our kids’ lives—something I think other moms need to see, hear, and be thinking about.

I remember when Carol and I couldn’t stand each other, more than ten years ago. She was 21, both my ex and I were 35. I just thought the whole idea of them dating seemed insane and ridiculous (and a few other choice words as well which cannot be repeated here!).

The very thought of her interacting with MY kids on a regular basis (with either love or authority), made my hackles rise and my stomach hurt. Before Carol and I starting getting along about 8 years ago, I would have been hard-pressed to send any good wishes to her as a stepmom—much less any stepmom. Like many moms out there, I just wanted her out of my hair—and my kids’ lives.

What changed?

So I was a bit slow on the uptake, but I began to realize that it’s not wise to cultivate someone who will be spending tons of time with your children as an enemy. I mean, really, even on a practical level, it’s clearly a pretty dumb thing to do. What if she took out her frustrations and tensions about ME, and our relationship, ON THEM?

Bad, bad news.

Bad parenting.

And what were we showing the kids about how you resolve conflict as adults? Weren’t we all the ones acting like children back then?

It drives me crazy. I so want moms (not "bio-moms," remember: our kids weren’t adopted) to really GET how important it is to give their kids permission to not only like, but love their stepmomtoo. It sucks to put your kids in the position of having to take your side, while creating all this inner turmoil for them.

Okay... I’m sorry.

Today is April Fools Day here in the U.S. and my post is totally fake. Made-up.

There was no Oprah call (although I did actually speak to Heather M. from Harpo Studios a few times before our book came out last year).

There is no official Oprah announcement about National Stepmother’s Day.

I did a search and found conflicting information. Stepmother’s Day already exists, but it’s alternately listed as May 1st (which seems like it would piss some moms off, coming before their day). Or else it falls on the Sunday after Mother’s Day, which would make it May 16th of this year.

So which one is it? Does anyone know?

I think the fact that there isn’t a clear date only highlights the fact that stepmoms are getting a bum rap, without a clear-cut holiday. A day for their husbands to acknowledge their efforts in keeping the family humming along, to get a card from their stepkids, or to gamely eat burnt toast and raw eggs in bed. Or, you know... maybe just get the hell out of the house and go get a massage, just to be away from the little buggers, like moms sometimes do.

Isn’t it time for a definite Stepmother’s Day?

And shouldn’t we all know when that is?

After all, the majority of the kids are being raised by two women. It’s about time we all knew who they were and acknowledged their contributions. I mean—look—in elementary school, most of the kids still come from nuclear families. As you get to junior high, those numbers drop. And by the time your kids are in high school, it’s pretty rare to find kids who still live with both their parents. That seems insane, but there it is.

If you’re a mom and you find yourself annoyed by the idea of a day to recognize the stepmom in your kids’ lives, you might want to think about the fact that you wouldn’t dare leave your kids with a babysitter who seemed to be giving you the evil eye before you walked out the door (sorry, stepmoms), so why are you fine with just leaving things as shitty as they are between the two of you?

If you’re a stepmom and your hopes were dashed by this post, I do apologize. I hope that someday everyone will know when Stepmother’s Day is and the day will you a feeling of validation and support.

Who knows, maybe there’s still time for an Oprah announcement!

 

© 2010 Jennifer Newcomb Marine     All Rights Reserved

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Dr. Phil episode on conflict between moms, stepmoms and dads to air Dec. 1st!

Fire up your recorders! The show we taped last week in L.A. will be on Tuesday, December 1st. We're on the first half of the show (including David, Carol's husband and my ex - poor guy) and then there's another mom/stepmom/dad combo on during the second half of the show.

I had big plans to write a summary of what the whole experience was like, but I swear, we must have used up a year's worth of adrenalin last week and I just couldn't muster the wherewithal to put my thoughts to paper. Let's just say it was pretty surreal. We were terrified, but everyone was incredibly, unbelievably nice, which helped.

And Dr. Phil was tall. :-)

And my heart went out to the other trio on the show, for different reasons. I could identify with each one of them and they seemed to be having a tough time, even though the two parents divorced nine years ago. I won't spoil the story and tell you what happened between them - you'll just have to see for yourself and come to your own conclusions!

By the time the show was over, I think the three of us had to suppress gargantuan yelps of joy that we had made it through alive. But no... we were now seasoned professionals, so we simply smiled and nodded to everyone as we did the royal wave down the long halls, returned to our bulb-lit dressing rooms, and performed a reverse-Cinderella (washing our faces THREE times and returning to Slackerville, clothes-wise). 

This week, I'm in San Francisco to help out with a family situation and won't have access to a computer during the day, so I won't be posting much until next week.

But I just wanted to say I really appreciated everyone's help who sent in questions (which I passed along to the producers) and helped publicize our search for additional guests. Thanks people's! Y'all are the best!

I hope this show plays a small part in getting a bigger discussion going about theses challenging bi-nuclear family issues. Lots of folks are suffering in isolation, thinking they're handling these situations poorly, when in fact, they're right there with the rest of us, stumbling around.

More soon!

Dr. Phil: now taking questions from the audience, as well as video questions

It appears that the mom from the mom/stepmom team that was to appear on the show this coming Tuesday has changed her mind. The show would now like to instead focus on taking questions from both moms and stepmoms in the audience, so you're in luck if you live in Los Angeles or close by, and have a burning question that you'd like addressed. 

Have one?!

They're also looking for questions to be submitted by video, so obviously that can be from anywhere!

If anyone is interested in attending the show and asking a question or sending in a video, they can either contact the show with the subject "STEPMOM/MOM CONFLICT - 11/3/09" in the subject line, or they can send me a message at marine2marine@gmail.com and I'll pass it along to the producer.

We'll still be on and we'd love to see you if you live in the area! 

Thanks!

-Jen

Texas Book Festival and onward to Dr. Phil!

Tbf_logo_brown
If you live in Austin, or thereabouts, come say hello to Izzy Rose and I at our table at the Texas Book Festival this weekend! (Carol's out of town.) We'll be there gabbing up a storm while inhaling gallons of coffee, and passing out vast amounts of candy and raffle tickets for some cool prizes (Vino Vino wine, decadent chocolate, and a very cool apron).

And we're ON for the Dr. Phil Show for sure!

Airline tickets were purchased a few days ago and they found a great stepmom/mom team in need of some help. Woohoo!! I know a lot of stepmoms in particular will be very, very interested in what happens with these two women. Let's send them a big dose of good wishes in advance, okay? Can you imagine how nerve-wracking this might be for them??!!

Shooting footage at our houses yesterday was fascinating, but also surreal. Strange to have to keep breaking down your answers into proper sentences without the um's and well's and uh's - and using names instead of pronouns. Hard to put feeling into it when you're saying the same basic thing (with slight variations) for the 3rd or 4th time. And how many of us would love to have a camera about five inches from our face???

At least our homes are spotless now. Just like when you have a party. Only different.

David, Carol and I leave for L.A. Monday morning, they tape the show on Tuesday, and I don't know when the air date will be, but I'll let everyone know as soon as we do. (Could be next week. Could be the week after that...)

And our lovely and talented camerawoman wasn't Barbara Walters, but she did manage to make me cry, more than once. I'm half afraid that the co-mingling of two parallel facts is going to be interpreted the wrong way on the air, but... I'll have to come back to that later. :-)

Turning in early tonight so Izzy and I we can get up at the crack of dawn and pretend we're farmers, planting books in the fields.... In zip lock baggies. During dry weather.

Okay, maybe just laying them on a pretty table with flowers. 

Please continue to send in questions you'd like us to cover on Tuesday while we're wearing our adult diapers, on stage.

More soon!!

© 2009 Jennifer Newcomb Marine    All Rights Reserved

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Still looking!

So we've gotten some great responses from folks willing to appear on the Dr. Phil Show with us, but we're still looking... I've passed everything along to the producers.

Keep those messages coming! (marine2marine@gmail.com)

As it stands, there's a film crew coming to my house tomorrow morning at 8 sharp, so I'm doing my best not to freak out (hilarious task). We all fly out on Monday and then shoot on Tuesday, then fly back home after the show.

David (Carol's husband, my ex) will apparently be up on the stage with us for a portion of our segment (the first half of the show, whoa), so all you stepmoms out there who would love to have your guy get a dude's perspective should set up your recorders! He's quaking in his boots, because, while Carol and I have had the benefit of countless interviews together, he hasn't....

They'll be giving everyone in the audience a copy of our book, which is REALLY cool!

QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

What would YOU like to hear us talk about on the show?

What are your most pressing concerns?

What really needs to be talked about when it comes to this subject?

Here's your chance to shape the discussion of these issues, with the stepmom, the father and the ex-wife, all in the same room with a no-BS therapist (that would be DP himself).

Your thoughts???

Want to be on Dr. Phil with us AND improve your relationship with the mom or stepmom in your life?

I need your help! Can you help us absolutely plaster the internets with our request?

Carol and I have the opportunity to be on the Dr. Phil show next Tuesday and are doing a pre-interview with a producer today. We're looking for two (update: now only one) stepmom/mom sets of women who can't stand each other who are willing to be on the show with us on Tuesday, Nov. 3rd.

If the show/we can't come up with an unhappy counterpart to "us," then we might not be on either! We're trying to find someone as soon as possible.

I know the idea of baring your soul (and neck) on national television is kind of scary, but it's a real chance at creating some movement and understanding in this relationship, and could potentially help a lot of folks as they vicariously share the experience. Mom and stepmom participants would have the opportunity to get some focused help from him... and us! Also, hotel and airfare for the trip would be covered by the show.

It sure would feel great to help contribute to a breakthrough between people. These relationships can be so painful and fraught, and yet, when you finally make a connection, so incredibly healing and supportive too.

Think about it.... The benefits of a more cooperative relationship between stepmoms and moms, even if it's simply more of a business arrangement, include:

  • a cohesive set of rules between the houses so that the children can't manipulate the adults, escape consequences
  • stronger, more stable marriages with less gossiping, venting, negative focus
  • better parenting; more brainstorming and support from the people who know the kids best
  • happier children who have more of a contained “nest” for them
  • less stress for everyone all around

I'm sure we're all in agreement about how important it is to increase media coverage for stepmom, stepfamily, and dual-family issues (including the single parents) after divorce and remarriage.

Why is hardly anyone talking about the dynamics -- and risks -- of these two-family situations, or better yet, how to navigate them in a healthy way?? With an almost 75% divorce rate for stepfamilies, and a lack of "mended relationship" models for children to internalize (and draw from later as adults), there's a lot at stake! Getting on Dr. Phil would be one way to encourage a larger dialogue.

Interested? If so, drop me (Jennifer Newcomb Marine) a line at: marine2marine@gmail.com.

(Latest update: had a great phone interview and will do a second one later on today too. "A crew" will be coming to our respective houses to shoot some footage THIS Thursday and both Carol and I are terrified!!!)

© 2009 Jennifer Newcomb Marine     All Rights Reserved

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Our longest interview yet!

audio-1839126_1280.jpg

Check out our latest coverage from The Huffington Post in an article called "Stepmothers, Mothers, and the 'B' Word" and the longest interview we've done yet -- in Austin's own LiveMom, a great resource for local stepmoms and moms!

We'll be taping an extended interview about ex-wife/stepmother issues with Communication 360 early tomorrow morning, so maybe we should start the coffee pot now (and we don't even drink coffee).

The show is hosted by a husband and wife team, Lisa and Phil Mulford, who focus on conflict resolution for tough issues. Phil is a practicing attorney and divorce mediator who has successfully mediated hundreds of divorces. We're looking forward to this, since they've already let us know they want to deal with the more emotional aspects of the mom/stepmom relationship. I'll post a link once the interview is up.

We've got several new projects in the works and would love your feedback about what you'd like to see or any extra-rascal-y questions you'd like to have answered.

Coming up:

Look for a new video series featuring Carol and I in her forested backyard, talking about some of the most frequently-asked questions we get about the book. We taped something last night that was a total blast (lots of mosquito-scratching, very telegenic), but the cicadas were so loud they drowned us out! We'll try again and hopefully upload this week.

 

© 2009 Jennifer Newcomb Marine     All Rights Reserved

BookPeople signing pics and free upcoming meetings

As promised, here are a few shots of our reading on Friday at BookPeople below. I'll load up the rest on Flickr tomorrow and you can scroll through to your heart's delight!

It was so great to see so many supportive and warm faces, both familiar and new. The evening was hosted by actress Laura Lane, who did an amazing job guiding the flow of the evening and directing questions. Good friend Izzy Rose was also celebrating the launch of her book, The Package Deal, and nicely represented the stepmom's point of view, since Carol was away at a longstanding painting workshop in Sedona.

I tried to move mountains to have her be there, but alas, in the end, we just both had to accept that she couldn't. A bittersweet celebration, in some ways. This is what she was doing!

Ws_sedona_kids_LG
(she's the dink in the middle with dark pants)

Free Meetings in Austin, Texas

HOWEVER!!!! We ARE hosting a series of free talks here in Austin, Texas, at the same award-winning bookstore, BookPeople, starting on Tuesday, so if you would love to get together and gab about all these juicy issues, or know anyone else who might like to, send them our way.

The meeting schedule (3rd Tuesday of the month, 7:30 p.m., May - July):

  • May 19
  • June 16
  • July 17

If you're planning on joining us, drop us a line at marine2marine (at sign) gmail (dot) com and let us know!

Here are the pics:

Marquee_by_Mary_Swift
Woohoo! We were on the tails of the puppet show!

(photo courtesy Mary Swift)


Lauren_izzy_jen_talk

Laura Lane, Izzy Rose, Jennifer Newcomb Marine

(Photo courtesy Stepmother's Milk)


Jen_laughing

(photo courtesy Brad Newcomb)

Jen_by_Frank_Curry

(Photo courtesy Frank Curry)

Izzy_jen_smile_table

Jen, Izzy

(Photo courtesy Stepmother's Milk)


© 2009 Jennifer Newcomb Marine       All Rights Reserved

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Washington Post mention

Check it out! Carol and I are featured in the Washington Post today in a sweet little feature on moms and stepmoms that get along, such as the "Miller Girls," an ex-wife and stepmom who became, and stayed, close friends, even in the face of illness. An excerpt:"

Linda, the younger daughter, said the relationship felt so ordinary growing up that she couldn't understand why other divorced parents couldn't get along as her mom and stepmom did. But it still surprised her last year, when her mother was sick, to see the depths of the bond."Sometimes my sister and I would say to each other, 'Is this really happening? Who would believe that your ex-husband's wife was going to come over and help you do laundry -- when she had trouble getting around?' " Linda said.

You can read the full version of 'Miller Girls' Linked by Friendship, And a Man here, as well as see a video of the two women describing their relationship in their own words. (I can just see Carol and I as old ladies, still picking up the phone and talking, still getting together and laughing our heads off. Since I'm the older one, maybe she'll one day be doing my laundry? Ha!)

Our book launch party at BookPeople was fantastic - I'll post more pictures later on today, as well as load them onto our Facebook fan page. It was standing room only and they almost sold out of our books!

And our interview with WWL in New Orleans was also great -  what was supposed to be a 10-minute piece turned into 50 minutes, the hosts were so interested and enthusiastic. Will see if I can find a link and post that too.

Happy Monday!

© 2009 Jennifer Newcomb Marine       All Rights Reserved

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Book signing at BookPeople!

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If you're in Austin, come on out for our book signing tonight at the fabulous BookPeople!

BOOK PARTY AND SIGNING

Friday, May 8 from 7:00 – 8:30pm

BOOKPEOPLE

603 North Lamar Blvd.

Austin, Texas 78703

events@bookpeople.com

Store Phone: 512-472-5050

On the eve of Mother’s Day, celebrate your “Other Mother” with cupcakes by Hey Cupcake!, cocktails and conversation, hosted by actress Lauren Lane.

We'll be joined by author Izzy Rose, author of "The Package Deal: My (not-so) Glamorous Transition from Single Gal to Instant Mom."

We’ll read from our new books and open it up to a lively blended family discussion. Signing to follow.

Come join us!

"No One's the Bitch" book official launch day!

No_Ones_the_B_CoverLike a little gremlin that escaped from the attic, our book is officially out there in the world! If you'd like to help us obsess over our Amazon status on this holiest of launch days and reach Bestseller status (however briefly!), you can buy the book at Amazon. Just some of what you’ll find inside No One’s the Bitch: A Ten-Step Plan for Mothers and Stepmothers.... Help for understanding and working through the conflict:

  • What’s one of the biggest hurdles to getting along? (It’s not what you think!)
  • What should you do if the mom or stepmom isn’t willing to improve your relationship or is actively undermining you?
  • Why does this kind of “other woman” cause more problems than the kind normally associated with adultery?
  • Who ultimately pays the price for all the stress between households?
  • Are there any negative emotions that affect only one side?
  • What might you be afraid of losing if the two of you actually start to get along?

Changes you can look forward to making—with help!

  • What simple steps can each woman take to diffuse resentment and competitiveness from the other side?
  • Why should you sometimes work around the ex-husband/husband in trying to create a sense of partnership?
  • What’s something easy you can do today to set positive changes in motion?
  • How did we go from barely being able to speak to each other, to becoming close friends. How long did it take? What exactly did we do to get here?

Positive effects you’ll see in your life

  • Why will the children be opposed to some of the surprising benefits of creating a new, extended family?
  • Why is creating a partnership between the two women like living in a small village?
  • What opportunities are lost if you simply try to avoid each other and accept the adversarial status quo?
  • How will you change your child or stepchild’s life if you learn how to work together with the other woman?

If you do happen to buy the book on Amazon, we'd be ever so grateful if you'd be kind enough to leave a comment. (Or come back later and write one! Comments are hugely important in terms of the "sticky" formula Amazon uses to refer customers to related books....)

And again, thanks for all the emails of love and support!

© 2009 Jennifer Newcomb Marine    All Rights Reserved

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Done!

Hi all! You'll be seeing and hearing a lot more from me, now that the first draft of the book is done! I finished Saturday, and am taking a few days off to get some distance before I jump back in for revisions.

We had an amazing team of twenty-three reviewers helping us (friends, family, other writers) - at least two per chapter! Their help was invaluable and made the manuscript much, much better. Thank god for all those eagle-eyes who were willing to give us their honest opinions and specific ideas for improvement. THANKS TEAM!!!

I'll put up a new post tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy your Monday!

© 2008 Jennifer Newcomb Marine All Rights Reserved

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